Finally calming down, have think alot last night and this afternoon, alot of brain cell have sacrifice bravely in the process. ^_^ I salute you brain cell.

Yesterday have a talk with Hubby and he have picture me the future we are having. Its very gray, very very gray. Brokedown yesterday as I feel very injustify and unfair that I need to give up this relationship not even trying. Its not the elements of giving and taking, its about the environment, the culture.

Have spoken to mummy about it, I'm very surprise that she support me. She ask me the very question that my sister ask me also. "You know yourself what is best for you. If you really love Rohit then just go with him lor. Its very hard on you but you will survive cause Rohit is behind you." Alright I'm not amaze that Sister Yu said that, but the fact that my mom can see the picture so rationally. Apparently, My dad and her came hard as well. That's why she understand how I feel, I also need to know what Hubby really wants. If both of us are hard to part maybe we can try.

Seriously, this I have left out I forgotten to tell Hubby, as long as you are with me I can take anything, even if they treat me like shit I also don't mind. How long I can take it? If you are there for me, I can take it as long as I live. I have this feeling, I'm very optimistic about it. I want to please Hubby's Mum, she haven't even see me so she cannot fail me. Hope she gives me the chance to perform.

This is the first time I'm so scare of losing something. This is really the first time, something caught me so off guard. Hubby, I hope you are with me. I'm really determine on it. No matter how rough or how gray the future it is I'm with you as I need you and really see you in my life. Unless, you don't me, there wont be a time I dont want you. I hope you don't see it as stubborn, I'm unwilling to let go if I haven't even try. You told me we could work it out and you do not want to give up also. ^_^ so we have to really walk hand in hand, I'm very very happy that you are willing to share the burden with me and let me cry with you and really show me the way we are heading. You are very important to me that's why I'm willing to go through all these. You can't judge the "you" that's in my heart, only I know who he really is in my heart, and cause he is worth it that's why I'm so determine to break through the obstacle. I wont let you face it alone, I hope you give me a chance to face it with you.

Hmm first step now, need to go pick up the language to impress my mom in law... ^_^